Stress Free Living — A Myth
Stress — something we want to eliminate from our lives! Or do we? What in your life produces stress? What drains you of the energy you need to thrive and grow? Maybe it is a boss who is looking for a report that you have not finished. It could be the pile of files on your desk that you did not have time to put back. How about the leaky faucet that keeps drip, drip, dripping. All these things are frustrating and wear us down. Stress never feels good but in some instances it may be worth meeting head on.
Good self care starts with eliminating energy drains in your life. Now it's a funny thing about energy drains we often put them off because they take too much time and energy. In fact they take even more energy NOT doing them. Think about that pile of files on your desk. Every time you look at them you get the uncomfortable feeling (stress) that really is wearing on you. The files trigger a loss of energy. Sometimes just remembering the work you need to do brings on the energy drain. It takes less effort to get it out of the way!
Pam was single and took pride in her home and it landscaping. Last fall she was preoccupied with several projects at work and neglected raking the leaves for two months. She noticed that it had to be done but put it off because she was too busy with other things. Every time she drove up to the house she felt a pang of anxiety. During the day at work she thought about the leaves and how awful the house looked. It continued to bother her. Suddenly she was aware of being unbelievably weary as soon as she arrived home. It was only when she hired a couple of teenagers to rake the lawn for her did she realize how much the leaf covered lawn had been bothering her.
Paul noticed that others in his division were being recognized for volunteering to present the results of their work at a senior managers meeting. He wanted to be able to do that too but he was terrified of speaking in front of a group especially when it was a group of high-level executives. He thought about it for months but put it off because of his concern. One day his manager approached him about doing a presentation. Paul could have refused but knew this was an opportunity to stretch. Although Paul was nervous and feeling very stressed when he made the presentation, he learned a great deal about himself.
These were two different examples of stress. Pam could see that having a well-manicured house made her feel good and actually gave her energy. At times when she was not available to do it herself she benefited by hiring someone to do it for her. There was no additional benefit from doing it herself. (except perhaps some additional exercise.) Paul on the other hand could see that he would be under some pressure doing the presentation but he knew he would benefit from it. Peter Senge in his book "The Fifth Discipline" calls the latter stress — Creative Tension. When there is a gap between your current reality and your vision of your future, that gap is a source of creative energy (Creative Tension). That creative energy is often confused with stress because we feel the same emotional tension that we feel when we have an emotional drain. It is important to recognize the difference in tension types and eliminate the drains leaving more energy to sustain the creative energy needed to move to the next level.
Action Steps:
- Make a list of 10 energy drains in your life. Learn to differentiate between the ones that will drain you of energy and those that will produce creative tension.
- Eliminate 4 of the nonproductive drains.
- Find an area of your life where you would like to grow. Develop a plan that stretches you enough to feel "Creative Tension."
- Ask yourself if you tend to eliminate some things that produce "creative
tension" by lowering your sites instead of moving forward. Is your
answer in line with your goals and aspirations?