November 2009
Feeling Grateful
How many times were you asked as a kid, "What are you thankful for?" You probably got that question frequently around Thanksgiving. Being a good child when I was asked I always answered it in the expected way without much thought or passion. My list always had my parents and teachers first and then the usual suspects.
I even competed with friends to see who could come up with a longer list. The long list impressed my teachers and my parents but the actual purpose of the exercise was lost on me. Maybe it was just to keep me busy while others prepared the Thanksgiving dinner.
Now that I am older I have a greater appreciation for the question and my answers. It is the feeling of gratitude that is important to me.
What is the purpose of thinking about what you are grateful for? To me the purpose is simply to notice how many good things touch our lives and to feel the feeling again. It is not necessarily to make a long list unless that helps you to notice the good stuff and then get to the grateful feeling.
Many of us (I include myself here) tend to dwell on what is not going well in our lives. That can make us feel inadequate and sometimes helpless. We loose our feeling of confidence and control. What better way to counteract that then to think of times when things were going well and to feel gratitude and appreciation for it once again. It definitely helps change my mood!
Even in challenging times there are things to feel grateful for. Years ago I lost my job because the company went bankrupt. Although I was upset about the loss of income I knew I was destined to find something better and was grateful for the unemployment check to hold me over until I actually did.
The better we are at quickly regaining that appreciative and grateful feeling the more open the heart is to what is possible for us. How do you access that grateful feeling? Where do you feel gratitude in your body? When I want to feel gratitude I simply think of my grandchildren. The flush of warmth in the area of my heart and stomach is wonderful. Try finding an access point for yourself.
The objection I have for asking someone to make a list is that it is an activity of the mind. My mind is often critical and is apt to go through the list and discount everything as unimportant or not worthwhile. That is the danger. Instead by feeling the feeling I am not evaluating it but just enjoying it and that is so much more meaningful and worthwhile. Try it!
Take action
- What are you grateful for in 2009? Sit quietly visualizing a few meaningful choices and feel the feeling of gratitude.
- Notice where in your body that feeling is felt and which of your choices brings it to you most quickly or most intensely.
- Use that visualization as an access point when you need it.